Kiss and Tell
by DaLiza
Summary: Sweets gets the surprise of his life when he presses Booth and Brennan for details about their mistletoe kiss. One shot.


**AN: I needed to get this idea out of my head so I could focus on the second chapter of "Be My Love". Hope you enjoy! Thanks again to CalleighAryn, the best beta in the whole world.**

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"Let's talk more about this kiss." Sweets hoped that he sounded like a professional psychologist and not some kind of perverted voyeur.

"Let's NOT." Booth regarded Sweets with one of his typical mocking stares. Sweets called this one the "You're just a kid and I shouldn't have to listen to you" look.

"Would you prefer some role-playing instead?" Sweets suggested, knowing how much Booth hated the activity. "I have a ton of great costumes and props that we haven't--"

"It was under mistletoe in Bones' office," Booth cut in.

Sweets noticed the agent's face reddening. "And…?"

"And that's it," Booth replied, folding his arms over his chest. Now he was giving Sweets the "Ask me any more questions and I'll hurt you" look.

Wanting to live to see another session, Sweets decided to leave Booth alone…for the moment anyway. "Dr. Brennan, do you have anything to add?"

"No. You're making a big deal out of nothing."

She spoke with her usual confidence and authority, but Sweets saw a rosy tinge in her cheeks that mirrored her partner's. If the kiss was really nothing, why did the mention of it make both of them blush? Perhaps it had affected them more than they realized. "It might be nothing, but it's my job to help you guys address any issues that could interfere with your working relationship. If you'll discuss the kiss for a minute or two, I'll end our session early. You can have twenty minutes of your lives back. What do you say?"

"I wouldn't mind getting that time back," Booth said. He turned to his partner. "What about you, Bones?"

Brennan kept her steely gaze fixed on Sweets. "Why are you so interested in our kiss? Is it because your own biological needs aren't being met?"

"Bones!" Booth hissed. "Leave the kid alone. He's willing to let us out early! Wouldn't you rather be back at the lab with the other crime fighting squints?"

"Fine," she responded with a defeated sigh. "I'll do it so we can get back to our _real_ work."

"For the record, Dr. Brennan, my biological needs are being met. I have a girlfriend." Sweets swallowed hard when he noticed Booth and Brennan glaring at him. Apparently he was the only one in the room whose needs were being satisfied. "So…who wants to go first?"

"I'll go," Brennan volunteered. "Caroline Julian was feeling 'puckish', so she said that she would give my father the Christmas he wanted in exchange for my kissing Booth. The kiss was simply the means to an end, the fulfillment of a contract."

"So you kissed Booth for your father's sake?" Sweets asked.

"Exactly."

"Would you have agreed to this arrangement if Ms. Julian had asked you to kiss someone else, perhaps one of your fellow 'crime fighting squints'?"

Brennan paused before answering. "Yes, I would have kissed Hodgins or Zack."

"You would swap spit with the squint squad?! That's disgusting." Sweets could hear the jealousy in Booth's voice. "Hodgins wants to marry your best friend, and I doubt Zack even knows how to kiss. You would really kiss Zack?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Brennan asked.

"Because he's_ Zack_!" Booth cried, apparently feeling that this fact was argument enough.

"I can kiss whomever I want, Booth. If I kissed Zack, it would be as a friend."

"Did you kiss Agent Booth as a friend?" Sweets interjected, trying to get the partners back on track.

"Of course," Brennan answered. "There was nothing romantic about it. It was like kissing my brother."

Booth let out a derisive snort. "That's what she told Caroline. Out of curiosity, Bones, how many times has your _brother_ ended up with your gum after you kissed him?"

Brennan blushed for a second, but recovered quickly. "That was an accident."

"You putting your tongue in my mouth was an accident?" Booth shook his head violently. "That's NOT the way you kiss a friend or a brother."

"What makes _you_ an expert in kissing?" Brennan snapped. "Did you get a lot of practice with Cam?"

"Cam and I didn't need to practice, Bones—unlike you and _Sully_." Booth said the name as if it were a flesh-eating virus.

"Sully was a great kisser," Brennan shot back. "When I kissed you under the mistletoe, you barely kissed me back."

Booth's voice shook with rage. "Sully didn't care about you half as much as I do! I wanted to kiss you back—_really _kiss you back—but we were in your office and Caroline was watching us. I was being_ respectful_!"

"I don't want you to be respectful!" She yelled. "If you really care about me, then show me!

"Fine, I will!" He yelled back.

Sweets' jaw dropped as Booth pulled Brennan against his body and kissed her like a starving man devouring a hearty meal. _Whoa_, _Booth's practically sucking her face off…not that Dr. Brennan seems to mind. _He turned around to give them some privacy, but he couldn't stop himself from looking over his shoulder every few seconds to see if they were finished.

_Still kissing…yup, still kissing…it's probably been about ten seconds ….fifteen now…wow, that's a lot of tongue…twenty…how much longer can they keep this up? Twenty one, twenty two, twenty three…_

After about twenty six seconds, Sweets heard some heavy breathing. Tentatively glancing over his shoulder yet again, he saw that they had pulled away from one another and were catching up on oxygen. Both looked shocked at what they had done. "Please don't say that was like kissing Russ," Booth whispered.

"It wasn't," Brennan whispered back. "I guess you're not such a bad kisser after all."

"Thanks, Bones. You really know how to stroke a guy's ego."

The partners grinned at each other as Booth helped Brennan to her feet, wrapping his arm around her waist. "We're done here, right?" Booth asked as they started walking towards the door.

"Yeah…uh…see you next week." When Dr. Brennan closed the door behind them, Sweets took out his notepad. Instead of his usually lengthy post-session notes, he wrote only three words.

_Success at last._

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**Thanks for reading! All comments are greatly appreciated. :)  
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